You Are What You Aspire To Be

Let’s face it many of us are failing to live up to our potential. Life just gets in the way. We routinely make choices that just eat up the clock yet provide little value and, in fact, are in direct conflict with what they would like to accomplish. Things like going out for a big lunch and skipping the gym or letting dust accumulate on the book you bought but never finished. BUT it doesn’t have to be that way!

“Fulfilling your potential is a journey not a destination. You complete goals and replace them with new ones  –always striving to improve!”

Perhaps what sets apart those that enjoy more success in realizing more of their potential is they have the vision, clarity and determination to make better choices. They often pass on immediate gratification in pursuit of greater rewards. Just thinking about it without action will create frustration not progress. BUT it doesn’t have to be that way! Ask yourself the question.

“I’m inspired to do what, be what?”

Making your new goals “must do priorities” is a key. Make a plan to introduce sustainable change initiatives that you are comfortable you can transition into a new improved lifestyle. Skipping a meal versus eating healthy is an example.

Following are some suggestions and considerations to help you along.

1.    Turning Ambition into Accomplishment begins with having clarity around what success will look like. Having a clear vision of the outcome is the beacon of light needed to ensure you remain on course during your journey. What does your success look like –describe it.

2.    Having a realistic written plan as to how you will accomplish your vision is essential. Using smart goals is wise. I recommend starting at the end and reverse engineering the initiatives making sure to put first things first. A common cause of plan breakdown is committing to do too much too soon.  Your plan should incorporate the time required for the other goals / commitments as well. An hour reading each day is far more productive than four hours every two weeks or so.

3.    Maintain a “Let’s make it happen”  positive mindset / attitude. Knowing why your goal is important to you and remaining confident that the outcome is achievable is essential to building the strength to turn away from urges / distractions not supportive of you goals. Feel like you slipping call a friend or go for a walk.

4.    Making the pursuit of your goal part of your everyday life, not something you hope you’ll find the motivation and time for is a must. Whether it’s hitting the gym or reading a book, make it a priority and a must do thing. Personally I drag myself to the gym then love it.

5.    Don’t make your goals a secret. Tell those around you of your ambitions and ask for their support and assistance. They can help you with encouragement and help hold you accountable to your goal.

6.    Get the help you need. Going it alone will make you feel alone and that is the beginning of becoming overwhelmed and disillusioned. If you need a skill or support get it in place when and where you need it. Don’t let self pride keep you from asking and getting the help required.

7.    Measure and celebrate your progress. Taking time to refresh and evaluate both the progress made and the journey ahead keeps your plan active and real. Every plan will need refinement and adjustments, that’s just reality.

8.    Know when to say when. For athletes it’s stopping before incurring a serious strain or injury, and for others it’s ensuring the tank is never fully drained. Overdoing it just about guarantees a setback. Be realistic and keep aware to avoid sabotaging your initiative.

9.    It’s about the journey as well. Sacrifice is all good and well but misery will consume you. Be realistic on the price you’re willing to pay to reach your goal. Depriving yourself of the enjoyment of everyday life can make the realization of the goal an empty and distant victory.

10. Arrive at your destination with few regrets. Maintaining your values and adhering to your beliefs will ensure your integrity and self worth remains intact.

Being inspired is a wonderful thing. Harnessing and growing your abilities in pursuit of your vision is living your life with purpose and intent. It’s both exciting and rewarding and certainly well worth the price of giving up the very stuff that is holding your back.

Relationships – A Failure to Connect is a Failure to Lead

 

I say relationships because effective communication is only one side of the coin. Connection is the other.

As leaders one of the pitfalls is that you can speak to someone and they will take action. It can be totally one sided. You say go do this and they do. You can deliver a speech and watch the audience disengage or you can pitch a great idea and receiving low support or buy in. It simply takes more than your words to be a true leader of change.

Speaking at someone is not the same as speaking with someone

Leadership is most effective when the leader can inspire and motivated people to not only follow but internalize the goal and commit to the realization. It comes down to engaging with them to build a solid connection. Here are a few recommendations on building those connections.

  1. Listen to learn. Taking the time to listen builds awareness, demonstrates respect, builds perspective and uncovers concerns. It is often recounted people will not listen when they have not be heard.
  2. Know your audience. What is their interest, knowledge, or position on the issue to be discussed or spoken about? Talking over or under their knowledge level, failure to understand or not recognizing their beliefs, perspectives or position will be speaking to deaf ears and made up minds.
  3. Speak to the person not the situation. Always remember speaking to the person will ensure higher engagement because it is personal. You need them to participate not observe. Speak with them not about them.
  4. Speak about the concerns. Don’t make the problem about the person make it about the circumstances, situation or behavior. Offending the person shuts them down, where as asking for involvement / clarification in addressing potential solutions encourages dialogue and maintains respect.
  5. Don’t assume build the facts. Observations are fine when they are made to bring out more facts not represent the only facts. Asking a leading question is more effective that taking a position not yet determined, validated or accepted.
  6. Offer WIN / WIN. Solutions that allow both side to claim success are the ones that have the best chance at realizing lasting benefits because it give both sides a reason to uphold the agreement. As a leader you may have the power to force compliance, however, good leaders know and practice the ability to connect and build the relationships that produce engagement, partnerships, mutual fulfillment and solid sustainable results.
  7. Speak only what you believe and are passionate about. Good leaders are genuine, passionate and believable. Ask only for what’s necessary and only for things you would be willing to do given a chance in circumstances.
  8. Avoid the fork tongue -follow through. You word is your bond only when your words are followed up by the action you take. There is an old and wise saying, “Listen to the words but believe their actions.”
  9. Servant leadership is the best way to inspire / facilitate the success of others leading to the realization of the desired outcome. Now do this leader’s get at best what they ask for but no more.
  10. Achieving a connected relationship is not an event it’s an ongoing partnership born of mutual respect, trust and admiration.

Obligation or Opportunity -Your Personal Brand

 

Perhaps it is all in your perception, but, personally I feel best and perform best when I see my tasks and actions as an opportunity to create and share value. I view these as events that brand me. These are things I am most proud of.

Whereas when I find myself acting out of pure obligation I feel that I am sacrificing something or doing something that I don’t want to. In most cases, this occurs when I am doing something for someone I view as non deserving of unappreciative of my actions.  Typically I approach these actions with low energy and low personal satisfaction.

Now here’s the truth. Both situations define and brand  you. As an individual, I feel, you must find value in your actions even if the recipient is not an avid cheerleader. It’s your actions that you control not the action of others that count. If it’s good it’s good either way.

Our personal brand is the standard we aspire to. Our actions either support that standard or not and it’s all under our control. Have not defined your personal brand yet it’s not too late. Here a couple of actions to help you along.

  1. Listen to your heart, mind and soul. Define yourself in the most positive light.
  2. Identify the as is. Take an honest look at those actions / things that align to the most positive you and also those things that don’t.
  3. Determine the list of things you’ll like to change ranking them in most important and urgent to less important and less urgent.
  4. Realize you can’t get up the next morning a changed person, but, you can get up the next morning a more determined person with a plan to strive towards your most positive you.
  5. Realize you have the rest of your life ahead of you and while the past is written your future is yet to be realized and will be defined by your actions going forward.
  6. Be accountable to yourself and others. Your actions create your person brand. Evaluate the person you strive to be against the person seen by others. Be consistent and walk you image. Make a promise and consistanty meet it.
  7. Be genuine. Being true to yourself means never having to act. Chase negativity replacing it with positivity.
  8. Be accepting of you minor faults and those of others. We’re humans and not perfect.
  9. See the world through multicolored glasses. Consider the many / alternative perspectives as relevant not just your own. Don’t fall victim to your personal biases and blind spots.

Taking control of your personal brand ensures you act and behave in a manner consist with you beliefs, values and ambitions. Living a life full of opportunities and with no regrets is largely under your control and within your reach. Making obligations into opportunities to contribute can shift and energize your perception into alignment with the most positive you.